Pick Up Where You Left Off
A collection of 76 poems divided into three parts. Entranced and channeled into being, as you read them now.
Pick up where you left off means simply, that; if you experience interruption in any course of events in life, deal with them as best you can and get back on track to complete your journey. Even if it takes a lifetime, in the end it is worth it.
As stated earlier, this book came about to be a spontaneous celebration of “progress”, “forward momentum”, “getting on with life”. Being able to identify, and resolve, all the issues that were affecting me, both positively and negatively, and learning to embrace them, to love them, in order to move forward with life. Those issues made me fight against the natural course of events, ignoring my inner voice, neglecting my spirituality.
I would have gladly made the free will choice to extinguish this current incarnation, and wait to occupy another, but the motives would have never changed. To think this act is one thing, to commit this act is something else altogether. I am not that selfish.
When all is said and done, as is any “thing” in life, pick up where you left off, and further perseverance.
As for the cover photo
I started making photographs when I was about 10 or 11 years of age. I never got consumed by the hobby, but I found myself attracted to subtle emotional scenes, stuff that goes by ordinarily unnoticed. It was those details that interested me. I love the stoicism of monumental pose, and it exists everywhere we look, but more so where we don’t look. Ironically, I worked in a camera store for 9 years.
This photo was taken in 1990 thereabouts. I was on my way to work, and at the bus stop was someone I had never seen there before. I rode the bus to work every day, and there were always the same folks; a regular water cooler environment filled with pointless anecdotes and general triteness.
On this day, I happened to have my camera, and to my surprise, nobody but this poor girl was at the bus stop, no one else was there. It wasn’t a Saturday, and I wasn’t late or early; regular time, regular stop. I took notice of this immediately, the whole scene was rather strange, and so I snapped one picture.
The girl just sat there, as you see it now in the photo. For more than 15 minutes she sat there just like this, and when the bus finally came, she got on, went straight to the back, sat down and drifted away. I couldn’t help but wonder just exactly what was going on with her. I was compelled to dive in with twenty questions, but I didn’t. The photograph says enough.
Enjoy – M. Murphy
PART ONE – LIFE
Pick Up Where You Left Off
Pick up where you left off
Just when the ball gets rolling
Somebody kicks it over the fence
It lands in the mystery yard
The ball simply disappears
Completely insane cycle of life
For me, this is normal
Abrupt stages (and) shaky risers
Climbing to the top
Merely to be heard among the crowd
The special thing you do to me
Take away my prosperity
Stuck in the loop
To re-invent
More ways to do it all over again
The Rains
You put on your Sunday best
The term in order to look
Absolutely fabulous
Practicing just the right words
And vogue
You got to vogue
Climbing to your favorite plateau
Breathless
You greet the brand new day
….then the rains come
Past Generations
I can feel the hate
Of past generations
I sense the anger
The notion of betrayal
From my lands before time
Of the rape
What constitutes progress?
Of the righteous
What label a traitor?
Of the spiritual
What justifies death?
Terms
Speaking in terms
In terms of accordance
To the laws
Which I cannot recognize
To Cry
Tears cannot be wasted
Without a purpose
They can be purchased
At most any store
Gentle Tears I’ve seen
From a jar
From a life
Precious tears
Each drop
Telling a story
Of emotions
Too complex
Impossible to harvest
(in) A soliloquy of words
So cry
Tears with a purpose
Or don’t cry at all
This Land
We welcome you to the land
Of rape and money
No longer sweet
Like milk and honey
Lost are the ways of the ancient few
Whose dreams live on
In some stagnant glue
Are we as happy as they say
With the easy way out
Waiting just to die
Passing forth this legacy of pain
On the road to ruin
In our land of rape and money
With the me is the now (and) don’t look now
At me, this way anymore
On planet whore
Life Cycles
Life cycles through phases
Plateaus and changes
When you are riding high
On the conscious mentality train
You can only wish
To vomit out the hate
That plagues this world
And makes people what they are
Crying can’t help
(and) You can’t stand in the doorway
You hug the toilet
Cuz’ your friend is getting married
In between breaths remember
Never do that again
Madness
The block of pain
That culminates
Find the light
That illuminates
Shine from underneath
The thin veil
The mask that separates
The locked door
The key to hope
With its secret hiding place
For so few to find
Even fewer
Know how to use it
Spying on my own mind
To cheat (the) ever flowing thoughts
Anticipate the phrase
Because you think you are smart
Spit out
All rationale
Coated with a special sauce
(that) We all fall victim to
Prisoners of our own accord
All because of predictability
Am I just looking for a crutch?
A scapegoat or a cure
For this madness
Hate Crime
It’s like a hate crime
This vicious cycle we call life
Playing its joke on us
Praying to a God to redeem ourselves
I ask, what’s the use
To live with the abuse
(and) The torture of the mind
Keeping the secrets locked away
Tap dance the night away
Clickity clackity tippity tappity
That feel good feeling
Pounding in my brain
A woven tapestry of disinformation
Loose dangling threads of sanity
Ever apparent
In my waking dreams
Mankind
The criminal re-invention
Of mankind
Why must it be so?
Re-invention of love
Is a daily occurrence
Enslaved in this ritual tomb
Called life as we know it
Why do I cry, to whom and why
Who can I laugh with, and how
Where do I submit, my plan
To take over the world
Am I destined to be alone?
Or just to be
Bite Down
Bite down on the long, thread like
Open sores, along the length of your arm
Extract poisons of humanity
Spit in to the cesspool of corruption
Leap forward inside the mind
Feel it
It feeds like a mule, deer in rut
We come from two different hemispheres
Spending a lifetime to unite the twins
Human Race
I’d like to see the human race standings
In the sports section
Think about it for a minute
How would you divide the teams
What would you name them
What games would you play
How hard can you think about this
Can you laugh at yourself
(and) Never think about this
And not laugh
Or cry
Diaper
The diaper landfill
The streams of human waste
Flow through towns
With names and histories
You know nothing about
The Count
He has the smell of burning fascism
As he gropes his crotch
In the front window of the coffee shop
Obviously wishing to be
The display of the month or year
The millennium
Giving off rays of disgust
Floating brown downward
To the pit of hell
I try not to notice
But my senses are too severe
And you stand out
Like a bloodied bandage
Wrapped around the finger of life
Desperately in need of changing
Magic Newts
Magic newts
Crawling through dew
Controlling the minds
The emotions of snakes
The natural enemy
Casting little spells
On to edible insects
Makes the food slow
Docile and compliant
Cute little things
Pooping out magic newt turds
They fall to the forest floor
Sprouting mushrooms in no time
Magic fungus
Comes from magic newt poop
Bricks
The pattern of bricks
On the sidewalk
On the road
I walk it everyday
Remind me of life
Remind me of people
Laid in herringbone fashion
Spread to uniformity
You find the loose ones
Misplaced footing
Broken rhythm
From ones long gone
Smile
Is there
Was there
A method to the madness
Motivation
Behind the sadness
The soaring aroma
Of airplane snot
It left a rubbery trail
That cut right through
The landscape of my soul
Vindictive carving
The calculate risk
Scars below the veneer
What we call a smile
John
John was right
Cigarettes are food
John was left
The government just isn’t
John was gone
Haven’t seen him lately
Stab
I’ll always stab
At the media
Things are not
That sensational
I won’t believe
Ever in your lie
Psychic Network
The psychic network
I predict
Making millions
Tell me something
You really don’t know
Your fate
Generalize
Sensationalize
Telling lies
Media Poison
Media poison television
Controls minds
(of) Too many Americans
Spoon fed
Can’t wipe your own butt
Never Change
Where have you been all this time?
All this time I could have made up a lie
I was in a horrible crash
My hair got tangled and departed
This ride sucks
I want my money back
I think I’d like to try
The cellophane body wrap
What have you been doing?
Where did you get that thing?
Do you remember?
That one time
Who could forget?
About this mess in the kitchen
It’s never changed
Friend
You were my friend
And then you lied
More time to mend
Open your eyes
It’s hard to blend
When your heart cries
When will it end?
Sometime in my life
Time
Time is of the essence
What essence it is of- is beyond me
But none the less
Of the essence it is
Countdown starts
Clocks ticking away
No more sitting in wait
Waiting and sitting
What is coming up
Down the road
The Ride
Wheezing
I smoked one too many cigarettes
(and) Flushed some lung yet once again
Head is spinning
Red Stripe and Beam
Good combination
A few medicinal herbs
We got ourselves the porridge
I’m not out spotting trains
Waiting for the one
To pull in to the station
To what avails the time
To get off my ride
PART TWO – LOVE
Take Away
Take away the exterior finish
To reveal only a rough surface
That I should breathe
A last gasp of air
To say only that
I love you
No Blade
There is no blade
Sharp enough
To cut apart two souls
To hearts
They split apart none the less
On their own
Leaving remnants
Measured in time
Seeking an understanding
Knowing a pain
Yet it comes to mind
For which I do not seek
Knowingly
You are there
All else is extinct
The humanity
Is what I love
No less
No more
Explain To Me
Explain to me
That electric feeling
I once had
When your hands and knees shake
Your eyes become cloudy
Why does it happen?
This way
Like a slap in the face
A beautiful beginning
An abrupt stop for intermission
An investment of a lifetime
Too good to be true
The Dream
You know it is like
A rush of smooth silk
Brushed against your arm
The smile appears
You close your eyes
Unopposed
The dream appears
A far away touch
Right on target
Wanting To Remember
Wanting to remember
Why, it keeps you up all night
Like a soothing kiss
At the end of a perfect date
Or welcome rain
On a blistering summer afternoon
Tossing and turning
Gathering a moment that was lost
When the sun went down
And paved the way for winters night
The pieces just don’t fit together
Even though they are all identical
And the piano that plays the melody
Fast and slow in the mind’s eye
A song without a name
Haunting you
This Time
I hope this time
Things are different
My heart still aches
For your love
To hear you
Once again
Whisper in my ear
Goodnight my sweet
Did I ever stop
(to) Thinking
Do I still
Love you
Forever on my mind
From the moment
I met you
Till the day I die
Much too hard
Just to make love
All too easy
To love you
Beautiful Discovery
I hear your voice
The oh familiar melody
And how it beckons me
From the inner reaches of my soul
I (can) close my eyes and see
The distance between us like a veil
Thin yet able
Thoughts flood all senses no empty pockets
Saturation complete
The boughs will break
Love all kinds and one
Hath no description
Yet radiant light and energy
In non-de-script prescience
The ocean of time is a calmer surface
Translucent revealing the depths of the past
And clouds of the future (stand out)
Against the horizon
A sunrise with awe inspiring colors
Reflecting the surface of love’s waters
My first and only no matter the path
Treading light and free staying above
To see a road ahead where two hearts
Remain true
The Wash
The wanton lust
Seduces me to you
And you to me
Desire and passion
The fire that cannot be extinguished
Forever I shall want you
Folding velvet upon velvet
Consuming flesh till it hath become one
Passing through the doors to touch every wall inside
As a calming incantation
To allow love to flow between us
The perfumed sea incensed and anointed
Licking the shoreline expanding
Enticing lilies to float upon its surface
As hands mapping our bodies
Tracing softness of the valleys
Mountains of golden fields
Tempting exploration this sea of love
Like the greatest forbidden fruit so ripe
Glorious nectar so intoxicating
We drink ever flowing
We bathe
Our Union
I think of a million songs
And sentiments
Floating ‘round to greet me
Lift me off my feet
The wings of an angel
To my heartbeat
Away we go, sailing
To a far better place
Heading out to who knows where
With a love so full of grace
I can wait to be with you
(but) I can’t wait to touch you
The years that separate
Tears of joy
Fall like rain
And lay upon my face
Away we go, flying
To a far better place
Heading out to who knows where
With a love so un-denying
To hear your voice
The Song of Songs
Such music to my ears
I close my eyes
And think of you
The moments not be gone
Away we go, soaring
To a far better place
Heading out to who knows where
With a love so rare
Soon will come a day
A storm upon the horizon
Tornado of passion on a sea of love
You’ll sleep the night away
But us we will play
(and) Always smile and live a while
After the world is gone and buried
Away we go, forever
To a far better place
Heading out to who knows where
With a love that cannot die
Nipples
Hard nipples
Forked tongue
Two at a time
Have And Hold
To have and to hold
Such empty meaning
To want and to need
More my speed
To laugh and cry
And live and die
Crave and savor
Your delicious flavor
Scent of your flower
The aroma
Intoxicating
Is why I’ll be waiting
Spaceship
A space ship
Fueled
From millions of naked women
Hooked
Up to an orgasm device
Juice
Provides their fuel and nourishment
Cries (and moans)
A sonic audio beam death ray
To Those
To those I loved
I will always love
For an eternity
Some are secret
Others not so
I’ve given my heart so freely
To hold the deepest passion
To touch the warmest smiles
Cradle in my arms you lay
Enough for many thousands
Not so selfish of me
To love
Even those can not
So separated by the sea
Nancy Boy
I heard somebody once say
Are you a Nancy Boy?
Meaning to be a sissy
Wanting to be non-wimp
Simply a geek
I’m just a Nancy Boy
But I’m not a sissy
It makes me laugh
Till I pee my pants
I’m just a Nancy Boy
Fancy chancy
Rancid joy
Carnal toy
Never be a Nancy Man
Or hang with Nancy Men
For ever more
Just a Nancy Boy
Hangin’ with my Nancy Girl
Eating licorice twirl
I think I’m gonna’ hurl
Butt-Worm Girl #1
Butt Worms
Are not your typical parasite
They are
Friendlier
Butt-Worm Girl #2
Sweet butter meat
Butt worm discreet
Hop-a-long feet
You are not complete
Butt-Worm Girl #3
Please take off your panties
Stand right there in front of me
Turn around and spread your legs some
Now slowly bend over and arch your back
That way I can get a better look see
At your Butt-Worms
My how they’ve grown
Like the parting of the Red Sea
They follow the contour of your anal cleavage
We would shave them you and I
Hand in hand with a lady bic shaver
Entwined like twirling swirling Butt-Worms
Trembling and juicy wet and woozy
Butt-Worm Girl #4
The adventures of
Butt-Worm Girl
Defender of
K-Mart
Imagine yourself
Walking down
Aisle 5
House wares
You pick up an item
The talking digital
Shower massager, and
It’s not priced
As you mutter
The word shit
You sense urgency
And a willingness to fart
Looking left then right
No one is near
The gas escapes you
Sticking to everything
Somebody giggles
And hands you a photo
An 8×10 glossy
Color, colon
Autographed
With love
And squishy warmth
Butt-Worm Girl
$7.95
On sale
She says
Nostrils flared
Like a good belch
Butt-Worm Girl
Slinks away
To cosmetics
Feeling like
(a) Diseased cabbage
You put three massagers
In your shopping cart
The saga of
Butt-Worm Girl
And the 8×10 glossy
Color, colons
7/27/89 @ 2:30AM
What is it that tears my heart right out?
Why do I lie awake teeming with rage and anger?
So wild and fierce
So little said or done can wilt me down
To dust so neglected
Ego soaring in a whirlwind of madness
And delusion
Taken in stride a man or woman outside
In a crowd how they seem like strangers
Still very close
Fragile emotions fractured down easily, never
To be whole again
Wistful prey stalking, always perfection
To extreme
Jealousy draws near
Senses numb
Hands cold
Brow sweating
Heart broken
Comfort
And when all is said and done
You stay
You let it eat you up inside
And wait in comfort
Over My Shoulder
I look over my shoulder and see your face
Behind dark sunglasses your eyes always stray
The points are heard and not let go
But locked away in your secret vault to which there is no key
My thoughts condense to the crude madness that is love
And hope that when you are able to let go the pain
I’m still alive to love all of you for an eternity
Evil Ally
I heard you that night
Through the walls
The drunken truth
With an evil ally
You said you love me
Words I cannot forget
You based the finality
From an evil ally
I close my eyes
Every night I see you
Reach out to touch you
Stung by an evil ally
Bones
Screamin’ down the interstate
That song over and over
Such a cruise all two years
Swimming’ a groove thang
Slammin’ the asphalt
Breakin’ your bones
Digging Out The Blackheads
You just had one she said
Lying there in a pile of laundry
Using those stubs
Diggin out blackheads
Laughing at a radio commercial
Done in turkey point of view
Happy Thanksgiving
Eating entire fowl families
Spit It Out
Spit it out
Say your piece
Speak your piece
Cat got your tongue
Snake tongue
White devil
Tower of pity
New Car Smell
The new car smell
Coming from your eyes
Running me down
Leaving tire tracks
Over my soul
PART THREE – WEIRDNESS
No Doubts
My fragmented auto-biography
Of twisted thoughts
And subtleties
The dementia
From within
Utterances from a madman
Express honesty
From the soul
Like an open wound
That will never heal
My heart
Will never scab over
For as long as my senses function
No doubts will remain
Seven Course Meal
The materialistic lies
That adorns the walls
And lines the streets
Of an unpalatable
Seven course meal
That waits to be devoured
By a tragic malady
The poor infantile fetus
Crawling to be taught
Some way of love
Of repentance
For whom they label
Over again
Empty Pie Tins
Sitting around on empty pie tins
Holding the water for one last time
Skimming the surface via the muffins
Floating by distorted like a mime
To each their own is what now exists
Where did all the sharing run to?
Hold up in purple make shift tents
Crying the chant of smoking blue
Teething wrought iron wheels of stone
The skull of ages past poking up saying hello
Still no meat but ants covered the bone
Lost in soupy haze and nowhere to go
Silence at the top of my lungs
Made the deaf ones hold their ears
Meek and indefinable
Remnants
Parboiled eager remnants
Litter the malfunctioned
Afflicted and condemned
Spelling out what it means
To really have a go at it
She cried
I can’t bear the weight
Of a thousand deformities
Having read out loud
In the silence of our mind
(for) There lurks a fear
The inevitable
Do Nothing
Spare me the judgments
That, coming from unsettled minds
Do nothing
Like a big mooning ass
Staring you in the face
Insult and humor
One and the same
Lobster Boy
Red faced
Lobster boy
At the close of March
In a tourist town
With matching shorts
And sunglass chains
Holding the map
Looking for a bathroom
To pass hypocritical judgments
Like a movie review
The Words
I can see the words
Swimming out of order
In cerebral fashion
(of) Randomness lotto
Waiting formation
Like grabbing straws
Tortured alignment
And chance to enlighten
One self
The unknown realm of toothy grins
Bleeding stench
Skinned Knees
Spread sheets
For digital sleep
And dream organization
Those white tabs of paper
Soaked under my tongue
So, I walked under white washed
Floorboards creaking
Woes of trembling feet
And skinned knees
When I burp I can taste
The Last Supper
With every judgment
Passed among us
Only to draw the line
Curved to insane proportions
Portions
Dished out in stomach churning
Bend grinding palatable cleansers
In small but tidy
Hand held denominations
That can’t be spent
Tablets
Tablets of paper
I’ve gone through
To feed the mind
Paper tablets
Tablets of aspirin
Two every six hours
Tablets of paper
Six every two hours
You wish
Whatever
Like anyway
Whatever already
That’s a lot (of)
Tablets
Troll
Spiny little Troll
I wish I had one
Living under my bridge
Scare the mailman
He’d probably steal garbage
From the neighbors
Get all the dogs and cats
Pregnant
Radio
I remember my radio
S.W., L.W., A.M., F.M.
Sounded good
Took it everywhere
Lost it somewhere
Miss it
P. P. Tinkle
P.P. Tinkle
The new head
In Flushing
Bowls tonight
Town
Each town has its plan
Every sheriff plays his game
Gonna’ lock you up now
Stink
Taken off rocker duty
(and) Bed pan bound
Stink around
Weirdness #1 (Dream Series)
Hoppin lizards and crabs
50 in every house
Eat your bugs Mum
If you don’t mind
I will if you won’t
Applesauce
Handfuls
Instead of
Regular
Clothes
Those damn fashion weasels
After the designer chickens
Again
I’ll have to call
Deputy Dawg
Weirdness #2 (Dream Series)
Here we go with the applesauce again
So thick and lovely
Prepared portions
Perfectly stacked
For purchase
A variety of flavors
Cinnamon and spice
Raisins
Where did you get the raisins?
Off the dog
Weirdness #3 (Dream Series)
Little drippings
Beads of moisture
Cut across a valley of skin
Ants could live there
Little ones, those tiny little ones
Scrapple and eggs
America’s breakfast
Bottled and bagged
Boxed up and given away
Toothpicks are extra
Nasty puncture marks
Left in some dried up
Automatic drip
Battery operated
Hand held
Strange goings on
Inside my head
So frightfully delightful
Yet delightfully
Frightening
Joey had a big red apple
He gave it to his teacher
She ate his apple
Right in front of
The whole class
Weirdness #4 (Dream Series)
Wash your vegetables
With your hands
Not your glands
Or organ grinders
Positively atrocious
Totally ridiculous
Sweet bread omelets
With a Dr. Pepper
Lots of special sauce
Please
Extra everything
And anything for free
Terrapin bed frame
Standing alone
The restraints
Still tied there
Weirdness #5 (Dream Series)
Do you know what it’s like?
Sitting frustrated
Your mind races
Too many thoughts
All at once
Productive work pleasure
Right handed notebooks
Left handed judges
Society crooners
Tobacco stained children
The isolation ward
Seems to me
Seemed to be
Daylight savings
Where does it go?
Does it earn a percentage?
(give a return)
Little Tommy wrecked his bike
Little Judy cut her arm
Poor Terry got shot in the head
Those crazy kids these days
What will they do next?
Trailer Park #1
My trailer park woman
Hangs the laundry
In between
Lot 2
And lot 3
My trailer park woman
S’got trailer park roots
Trailer park trees
Trailer park dogs
Trailer park poop
Trailer Park #2
My trailer park woman
She got a Ford Ranchero
Phone sex operator
Slaps her kids around
I mean really
Her trailer park man
Wakes to unemployment land
Beer drinker eating ham
From a small jar with a label
Trailer park family
(deluxe) Double wide accommodations
Luxurious plastic
Knives forks spoons
Matching trailer park curtains
Half empty propane tanks
Trailer park septic dreams
Shower stalls all painted
Trailer park green
Trailer Park #3
Trailer park mailbox
Like a towering condominium
At the end of the main road
Trailer Park #4
Oh I’m in love
With my sixteen wide Fleetwood
Gas heat for cooking
Three beds for sleeping
(and) A pickup for schlepping
Mailbox
The current
End of a long arduous day
The journey it seems to be
A special case to me
Like the white picket fence
(and) A big red mailbox
To Die
Dear sir or madam
Please help me
I seek patronage
For this twisted mind
To bring forth
Fruits of my labor
For I know no other way
But to affect
Can you give me?
What I need
To produce these children
From my mind they are born
The thoughts they have become
A birth that wants to share
And express all that is there
Dear sir or madam
Is my price to high?
Or do I have to die?
The Spiral Saint 